Now let's get one thing straight right off the bat. I love my cell phone. Some would even go as far as saying that i need to cool it with the phone. However, I am by no means oblivious to the many negative aspects of cell phone living: inappropriate rings at funerals, driving and texting, ball cancer… I get it. However, there is a bigger issue here. One that seriously makes me question owning a cell phone.  If you haven't guessed by the title of this blog, it's spontaneous water fights.

Now this may not seem as  big of deal to you then the stuff i listed above, but I happen to love water fights. Those of you who know me more personally know this already, and also know that I am a great water fighter. The reason I am so good at water fights is because I am an aquatic warrior who follows the golden rule: Thou shall constantly create alliances and then turn on those who trust you and drench them without mercy. However in recent summers, whenever I even approach someone with a bucket, hose, balloon what have you… people constantly bitch out by raising their phones in the air and saying something stupid like "mm mm mister… my phone". 

Fuck that…Once upon a time you could go up to pretty much anyone standing by a pool or on a dock, and forcefully push them straight into the water… Now-a-days, you are at constant risk of destroying a very expensive device, and even worse… being the "bad guy". 

Well i say, NO MORE. From now on, the bad guy is the guy who has his phone in his pocket in any situation that could potentially turn into a water fight…the beach, pool parties, car washes at Hooters… all of these situations have the potential energy to turn into one of the greatest days of your upcoming summer. But unless we all make an oath right now to leave our phones in a safe dry place, these great days  will be boring, monotonous...They well be a disaster. 

Now I realize that if we all adopt this policy, no doubt a few innocent phones will be destroyed… I'm ok with that. as long as its not my phone.. so basically, in a nutshell… if I want to drench you with water, I'm gonna do it regardless of phone in your pocket. But  if you do it to me I will seriously be upset, and probably make you buy me a new phone. 

oh by the way, we have a show on thursday.

dan

Top 5 things I'm looking forward to about new york. 

5. Shopping... as much as I hate to say it... every now and then a Saturday morning downtown stroll for new sneakers/jackets is euphoric. Sorry Buddy Cianci, but the Providence Place Mall ain't cutting it. 

4. The Fall... hands down my favorite season in the city. I don't sweat, I don't feeze, and I don't sneeze. , I'm glad to be coming back to it.

3. No Last Call... bars here in Rhody close at 1, rarely in NY do I outlast the bars. And when i do, even better. 

2. Crazy people... Being in RI, I haven't seen as many crazy people as I normally like to... I'm excited to get back on mass transit and be freaked out a little bit.

NUMBER1...the Band...  Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Can't WAIT to be back in the same state as my band. We're gonna trash hotel rooms, go through a dark period, and maybe breakup and get back together. it's gonna be glorious

Top 5 things I'm going to miss about RI

5. Seafood... although I do miss good Japanese and Thai food, I know come November I'll be craving lobsters, littlenecks, and clamcakes. RI found a way to fry everything that comes out the ocean, and I'm down with that.

4. Normal Prices... I've gotten pretty accustomed to Fash Cash 40's....it's really gonna hurt to leave it.

3. Family... For the first time since I left high school, I've gotten to see my family a lot. My mom has an endless supply of Klondike Bars, and it's awesome.

2. Driving... When I want to go somewhere in RI, I drive there. I don't worry about parking, or traffic... don't ever take that for granted.

NUMBER 1... The Beach...I spent probably 6 days a week on the beach. my  tan, boogie boarding, Del's lemonade, lost kid announcements, books, sitting in the lifeguard chair when the beach closes, old men in speedos.... it's all over. whammy. 

so that's it! back to packing